The Simple Life : Kent Farm
by vouge09
Summary: Paris and Nicole stay on the kent farm in this humoerus fic. Rated T for teen content.
1. meetings are hot

" What do you think they will be like?" Nicole asked

" I donno but I hope they have a sexy son" Paris replied

" That would be hot ... you know what would be way hotter?"

" What?"Paris replied while turning into the driveway past the sign that read " KENT FARM"

" If he was still a virgin" Nicole giggled out

The day was calm ( which was rare in smallville) that would not be for very long. The pink truck pulled into the red dirt road leading up to the Kent family farm .

" Mom Their here!" The youngest Kent yelled.

Paris parked the truck and began to back up ... " NO!" The whole Kent family yelled at once..

" Opps!" Paris giggled out

" Opps? You just crushed their fucking fence Paris!" Nicole yelled back. She had a problem with cursing .

Paris parked the truck and got out to look at the damage.

" Im sorry!" She exclaimed

But none of the Kents could say a word after they saw the girls' apperance. Nicole had Black and red and yellow extentions in her multicolored hair . She work big blue knee high boots and a low cut red top. She had lots of percings including her nose. She was carrying a maltease that she called ' Honeychild." She had a very very short mini skirt on and lots of chains.

Paris had Long to her chest platnuim blonde hair and a Blue skimpy top on. She held a Pink louis vittion dog carrying bag that held her pooch named ' Tinkerbell ' . She wore Manolo Blanick High heels, ( that were red) And a Black mini skirt on.

" Dont worry about it " Clark said ... if it had been anyone else he would have been shocked and a little angry but once Clark got a look at the two women standing before him he was speechless. He was surprised that his heat vision didn't malfunction right at that moment!.

" Clark and I will fix it later " Johnathan said " Hi , im Johnathan but please call me Mr. Kent." he said reaching out his hand. Nicole denied his hand and gave him a big hug . " Oh well uh alright." Johnathan said caught off gaurd.

" Hi im Martha , please call me Mrs.Kent" She said giving the two girls a hug.

" And you sexy?" Paris asked.

Clark looked around nervously like there would be another guy around ..." Oh Uh me?" He said pointing to himself." Im Clark ... you can call me Clark" He said reaching out a hand . Paris this time jumped in and gave him a hug and kissed him on the cheek.

" Uh WOW!" Clark exclaimed

" Well now that we know each other Clark mabey you would like to show them the ropes around here..." Johnathan said choosing to ignore Clark's reaction to the kiss Paris had given him ...for the moment.

" Uh yeah of course"

" Alright I will be in the kitchen making fresh pies if you need anything girls" Martha said heading to the kitchen.

"Okay " The girls said.

" Okay so yeah follow me " Clark said begining to head twords the Cow pens.

" So when do I get to milk a chicken?" Paris asked

" What?" Clark asked turning confused

" Dont chicken's get milked?" She replied seriously

" No... HAAHAHAHA" Clark began laughing hysterically

" Oh ...ok" Paris said not finding it very funny

" Paris where the hell would you milk a chicken?" Nicole asked laughing with clark

" I dont know"

" Okay well this is the barn ..." Clark began but Nicole was already walking up the stairs to the loft.

" Nice pad dude" Nicole said looking around and then she found something that she could embarssing him about forever.

" than..." Clark began but paused when he saw what she had in her hands.

A Notebook with the name Lana Lang scribbled all over it.

" LANA ,LANA," Nicole began teasing

" yeah... thats... thats nothing.." he said grabbing it from her.

" Who's Lana?" Paris asked as she made herself comfortable on the couch.

" My girlfriend...well sort of ex girlfriend" He replied sort of with shame

" Well she would have to be a real slut to break up with a stud like you" Nicole replied

" Well she's not a slut in fact she and I are great friends..." Clark said defending her

" Okayyyy" Paris said with a whatever tone.

" So where are we staying... "Nicole asked

" In my room" He repled

" Here? You sleep in a barn? " Paris replied

" I may live on a farm but im not an animal... I sleep in the house with the rest of the humans" He said.

" Oh Im sorry" Paris replied

" It's alright lets go and I can show you the house. " He said leaving down the steps.

" Okay but I have a quick question.." Nicole asked

"What?"

" Why do you have your telescope perfectly aimed at the window to the house next door? "

Clark looked at her and didnt say a word but " Let's go see if my mom has any pies ready yet" Trying to change the subject.


	2. Clarkies room

" Well this is my room"

" Wow your shirt matches your wall paper perfectly ... plaid."

" Yeah well I like plaid"

" I can tell" Nicole said going into his closet She pulled out his black leather jacket and put it on...

" Do you wear this when you go clubbing?" She asked him

" Uh no there aren't any clubs around here sorry"

" Well how far to meteropolis from here?" Paris asked

" 4 and a half hours " Clark replied unemotional and took the jacket from her.

" Well what do you do here?" Paris asked

" Well there's the talon"

" Sounds hot lets go " Nicole said

" We should go visit Lex " Paris said " I havent seen him in ages!"

Clark ignored her and went out to the truck. Him and Lex were not speaking for various reasons .. mostly beacause him and his ex -girlfriend were dating.

AT THE TALON

" Hey chlo... This is Paris , and Nicole"

" Hi Chloe Sullivan " She said smiling and reaching out a hand to the two blondes in front of her.


	3. The Talon

" So how you like smallville so far ?" Chloe asked

" Its hot I guess.." Paris replied

" Hi im lana" The raven haired beauty said reaching a handout to the two blondes in heels and mini skirts

" Hi Paris, and nicole" They said

" Can I get you anything?"

" How about clark a date?"Paris asked remembering Lana as his ex

" Excuse me?"

" Yeah I want to get Clarkie here a date so how about it?" Nicole replied back

" I dont think so , we have tried it before and clark had to many personal secrets to be so open with me " Lana said grabbing a tray and trying to avoid them now.

Chloe saw the confrontation coming and tried to but in and change the subject " Hey how about an interview for the daily planet? A tell all..."

" What kind of secrets?" Paris asked following Lana showing no intrest in Chloe.

" Just go home Paris... it's to personal. " Lana said giving her a nasty look while filing a coffe cup.

" Whatever.." She said flipping her hair and muttering whore under her breath

" Excuse me ?" Lana said turning around to face her " You can leave now...both of you "

" Good this coffe tastes like I expected it would... Crap" Paris said grabbing her Coach bag with her dog inside and leaving.

" Whats going on?" Clark asked while coming out from the bathroom

" Your new girlfriends were just telling me what they thought of the coffe and the talon." Lana said annoyed

" Oh did they like it?" Clark asked not catching on to lana's annoyance

" You know Clark remember that think we wanted to talk about?"Chloe said seeing the Lana Fire go off.

" Hu?"

" Yeah that thing ..." Chloe said grabbing his arm and leaving the talon

" What thing Chloe?" Clark asked as he and Chloe left

" Clark, for someone with x-ray vision your completely blind...Lana is annoyed woth you for bringing them here cause they picked on her and then said the Coffe tasted like crap."

" Oh my gosh!" Clark said

" Yeah so you better get them home quick and talk with them how the pepole of smallville are a little diffrent from New york. or LA"

" Yeah Okay ..."

But then Clark saw another obsticle he had hoped to avoid but knew was next to impossible. Paris and Nicole had spotted Lex outside and they already were carrying on a conversation.

" So ...What are you two ladies doing here anyway? Surely there's nothing here of intrest to you two...no clubs ...no shopping..." Lex said

" Acually were here with Clark" Nicole replied

" CLARK! ...CLARK KENT?" Lex said in surprise

" Yeah...He's being supersexy and showing us around " Paris replied

" Well if you get bored of Clark and his farm life please stop by the mansion and play a game of pool with me or to borrow a car..."

" Well we cant leave Clark he really is sweet and ..."

" Yeah well he would be fine on his own im sure ..."

" Mabey someother time..." Clark butted in " Ready to go girls?"

" yeah by Lex.."

" Bye Girls" Lex waved a kiss and sped of in his porsche'

" Nicole we should so fix their friendship.." Paris whispered while following Clark to the truck

" That would be sexy.." She replied Little did they know clark was using his super hearing to hear them talk.

' That will never happen no matter how hard they try ' Clark though to himself.


	4. The talk

A/N: Short but gets the Chapter concept by.

They arrived home at the Kent Farm and Clark sat them down in the loft for a talk.

" I like this place is this your make out couch?" Nicole asked giggling

" No, I don't have one sorry, Look we need to talk ." He said

" About what? "Paris said picking at her nails

" About how Smallville is a little different than Metropolis or L.A. "

" Dur I think we have figured that one out " Nicole said rolling her eyes

" Well it doesn't seem like it " Clark began " In smallville people are happy with the little things we have, it's a small humble town and doesn't get disrupted al; o often so mingling with Lex and Telling Lana the owner of the Talon that her coffee tastes like crap isn't exactly what people do or say here, so please learn to control your mouth okay? " Clark said then taking a breath

" Yah okay, got it " Paris replied

" Great okay well now that that's covered, want to help me milk the cows?" Clark asked

" Can we just hang out here for a little?" Nicole asked

" Sure I will be back in 15 minutes so okay" he said leaving the barn

Meanwhile

" Paris I love Clark already he's so sweet." Nicole said

" I love his shirt even more ", Paris said giggling

" I bet he has got some abs." Nicole said

" You know what I want to do?"

"What ?" Nicole answered

" I want to hook him and that Chloe Chick up cause she's blonde and blonde is hot" Paris said

" And I want to take him shopping for some new plaid" Nicole said with a laugh

" We don't have any money"

" Doesn't he?"

" Nicole this is a farm, they don't have money"

" Right. I forgot well, I wonder where we will be working"

" I don't know as long as it's not with that Lana girl, I was ready to punch her" Nicole said

" You don't even know her" Paris giggled

" I don't care; whoever breaks up with Clarkie baby is a whore. " She said laughing.


End file.
